What if I told you there’s an epidemic of males sexually assaulting female nursing home patients? | Mickey Z.
Mickey Z. -- World News Trust
Nov. 5, 2017
If you think there’s a limit to male violence, you are making a very dangerous miscalculation. (content warning)
Recently, CNN.com spent more than 7,000 words to tell us about an “epidemic” of sexual abuse in nursing homes. It’s miraculous that a major outlet gave such coverage to this issue but somehow, in all those thousands of words, they never named the problem: The abusers, assaulters, and rapists were almost exclusively men.
As is the case with virtually all violent and sexual attacks, this crime wave has a decidedly male face. Females are six times more likely to be victimized than males and, consequently, less than 30 percent of such attacks are ever reported.
To follow is some background, context, and personal opinion.
"This is why I love my job."
Rather than rehash the entire CNN piece (you should read it yourself ASAP), here’s a tiny sampling of the reporting:
[trigger warning]
- A 76-pound North Carolina nursing home resident who was so cognitively impaired she required assistance with even the simplest daily tasks reported that a nursing aide, behind closed doors, pushed her head toward him and forced her to give him oral sex.
- The third time a resident of a Texas nursing home was raped by a nurse, the assailant ejaculated in the victim's mouth and on her breasts. When he left, desperate to hold on to whatever evidence she could, she spit the semen from her mouth into her bra and kept the unwashed bra for three weeks. "That's all I have," she later told state investigators.
- In Iowa, a woman who depended on a walker to move around and couldn't bathe herself reported that a nursing aide sexually assaulted her in the shower. But the facility never flagged this accusation to authorities because the aide had left the country.
- An 88-year-old California woman who'd only had sex with one man her entire life -- her husband of nearly 70 years -- said she awoke in her nursing home bed with her catheter removed and her bed wet. The next thing she remembered was seeing an unknown male nursing assistant staring at her naked body. "This is why I love my job," she remembered him saying, according to what she told police. Weeks later, the woman complained of severe vaginal pain and "oozing blisters," and she was eventually diagnosed with incurable genital herpes. To this day, the identity of the alleged perpetrator hasn't been determined.
Patients are urinated on, forced to eat their own feces, and of course: regularly photographed and videoed without their permission or knowledge. With the number of Americans over age 65 projected to more than double between 2010 and 2050, nursing home predators will have a growing supply of prey. Nothing will change until a much deeper perspective is taken.
“Nursing Home Nymphos”
What’s the motivation behind this reprehensible crime wave? CNN offers a pseudo-explanation: “The facilities that currently house more than 1 million senior citizens typically pay low wages to nursing assistants (about $11 or $12 an hour), making it difficult to attract and keep quality workers. And during the most vulnerable hours, the night shift, there are often few supervisors.”
Undoubtedly, capitalism is a factor in just about any problem you choose to focus on. But let’s take a second to remind ourselves that any 10-year-old boy with a smart phone can now access free pornography, 24/7 -- and they often do. Very often. In addition, virtually everything and anything is now a porn category. Don’t believe me? Try typing “nursing home porn” into your search engine. You’ll get about 2,230,000 results (in 0.44 seconds).
Besides videos like “Grandma’s Violated Again” and “Nursing Home Orgy” and “Granny Cums Here,” there’s seven volumes of “Nursing Home Nymphos” -- and that’s just on a quick glance.
The motif is usually “young studs” with elderly women. In fact, this concept has been so normalized, a real nursing home has gone as far as hiring male strippers to “entertain” its female patients. Such is life within the confines of a pervasive porn culture.
When Internet porn has replaced sex education for pre-pubescent boys, the search for arousal becomes increasingly extreme. No degradation or humiliation is off-limits. If you’ve already made your way through the standard oral, anal, and lesbian categories by age 12, what will you “need” to feel aroused by the time you’re old enough to, say, work as a night shift nursing home employee?
Plus, of course, everything must be documented in today’s IG culture. That would explain why more than three-quarters of elder sexual abuse cases have at least one witness. Consider Channing Butler. As an employee of a central Illinois assisted living facility, Butler solicited men to rape elderly dementia residents while he videotaped them. Please consider how many men must willingly cooperate for this to happen. Strangers become comrades in the name of rape.
In the CNN article, we’re told: “Many people find it inconceivable that a 28-year-old caregiver would want to rape someone's grandmother.” Thanks to porn, it’s no more inconceivable than… well, I’ve already written about what passes for “normal” on Tumblr and in the realm of mainstream, accessible pornography. No need to rehash any more horrors. Let’s just say inconceivable never enters into the equation.
“We learn better when aroused.”
“Pornography is a potent teacher of both beliefs and behaviors, and in fact provides the ideal conditions for learning,” explains Mary Anne Layden, Ph.D., Director of the Sexual Trauma and Psychopathology Program Center for Cognitive Therapy. “It can teach not only specific sexual behaviors, but general attitude toward women and children, what relationships are like, and the nature of sexuality.”
Layden continues: “We learn better when aroused. If something activates our sympathetic nervous system, we are more prepared to remember the information received at that point. The arousal may come from excitement, joy, fear, disgust, or sexual tension. We tend to remember any experience we have in those aroused states. And learning is better if it is reinforced. Behavior that is rewarded is likely to be repeated while behavior that is punished is less likely to be repeated. Sexual arousal and orgasm are extremely rewarding experiences.”
In case you’re wondering how these “rewards” might manifest, consider this study which found pornography seemed to “condition participants to trivialize rape.” Now… thanks to smartphones, mere boys are learning to trivialize rape.
Think about it: A generation of tech-addicted males has opted to use a major chunk of their meager time on this planet to create and maintain web pages that will program the next generation of even more tech-addicted males to trivialize rape, to casually and reflexively view females as inherently inferior; to discredit and mock their feelings and opinions and needs; to overwrite their realities, gaslight them, abuse them, threaten them, stalk them, degrade them, exploit them, torture them… to hate them.
We're not only being conditioned to believe that sex and violence are indistinguishable, but also that girls and women -- from the cradle to the grave -- crave both. And taught that this "reality" should/must arouse us and thereby provoke us to action.
A “crime of opportunity”?
At the end of the CNN article discussed above, a list appears bearing this title: “Nursing Home Sex Abuse: 5 Things That Need to Change.” It opens with a sickening caveat from “legal advocates, government regulators, criminal investigators and medical experts” who agree that sexual abuse in nursing homes “can be extremely challenging to prevent and detect.” With that mind, they offer these useful but boilerplate suggestions:
- "When you have a sexual assault claim, you shouldn't go to a conclusion she's a problem patient. You should investigate as a sexual assault until proven otherwise." -- Dave Young, district attorney for Colorado's 17th Judicial District
- "Preserve evidence! Don't bathe or change clothing, sheets, etc., when an assault is suspected." -- Sherry Culp, Kentucky long-term care ombudsman
- "Most abuse is undetected and never reported mainly because observable signs are missed or misinterpreted. A little training could go a long way." -- Tony Chicotel, staff attorney at California Advocates for Nursing Home Reform
- "As with nearly every type of abuse and neglect seen in nursing homes, the better staffed the facility the less likely sexual abuse will occur. This is a crime of opportunity, so the more supervision the better." -- Kirsten Fish, elder abuse attorney
- "There needs to be a reporting system. ...The system doesn't keep track of cases that haven't been substantiated, [and] their rules for substantiating a complaint are just astronomical. It's virtually impossible to substantiate a complaint." -- Lt. Chris Chandler, Waynesville, North Carolina, Police Department
A “crime of opportunity”? More like a crime of patriarchy.
No-Male Policy
Obviously, I am powerless to change any of this and justifiably, no one cares how I would address this issue. But since I’m the one writing this article, I get to let loose in the hope it someday reaches the ears of someone with genuine power and far greater vision.
So, if I were to suggest such a list, I’d introduce big picture ideas like:
- All residents and aides must undergo extensive training with periodic updates -- and be paid at least a living wage.
- Establish federal subsidies for programs to train and monitor all nursing home workers.
- Work with disability rights advocates to re-vamp a system in which old or disabled humans are warehoused -- often against their will.
- Commence a complete overall of the entire health care/health insurance paradigm.
- Declare pornography to be a public health crisis and immediately begin an intense, all-encompassing approach to address it -- led by women, of course.
The structures are so rotten and the connections are so plentiful, I could go on for pages. But what I really wanna' do is present my first and most important immediate change:
No male residents or aides may work in a nursing home or similar facility. Males doctors, if allowed (big “if”), can never be left alone with a female patient.
Before you call me extreme, please scroll back to the top and re-read this article. After that, I suggest you recalibrate your personal definition for “extreme.” In almost any other setting, when a heinous trend is exposed, drastic action is suggested (and sometimes taken).
So, in the name of drastic action: males should be restricted from jobs in which their position, status, or circumstances increase the already high likelihood they will prey on women and children. Nursing homes would just be the start. We could introduce a similar no-male policy in realms like medicine, education, sports, and beyond.
If the predators are virtually all male and, thanks to Internet porn, the number potential future predators is being exponentially increased, what’s “extreme” about a no-male policy? What evidence exists anywhere to counter this idea? What have we males ever done to earn and deserve such trust, any trust?
Don’t answer those questions. Let’s instead ask Sonja Fischer.
In her youth, Fischer was forced to flee Indonesia to escape the rape and killing of young girls by Japanese soldiers. In 2014, at age 83, ravaged by Alzheimer's disease, she was raped by male nursing assistant George Kpingbah. Fischer -- described as “unable to speak, unable to fight back” and “as vulnerable as an infant” -- was victimized by what she feared most as a child.
Kpingbah pled guilty to “third-degree criminal sexual conduct with a mentally impaired or helpless victim” and was sentenced to only eight years in prison. However, it’s been revealed that he’d been previously investigated over sexual assault allegations as far back as 2008. Kpingbah was suspended three times for such transgressions but kept his job and his overnight shift.
So, yeah… please ask Sonja Fischer: What exactly is “extreme” about a no-male policy? What evidence exists anywhere to counter this idea? What have we males ever done to earn and deserve such trust, any trust?
Name the Problem
Let’s return to that statement from the CNN article: “Many people find it inconceivable that a 28-year-old caregiver would want to rape someone's grandmother.”
Since this idea is being presented as astonishingly abnormal, I have another Google assignment for you: type in the words “fucking grandma,” if you dare. Without having to click on any of the sadistic links, you’ll learn just how “normal” George Kpingbah and all the other nursing home predators are. With about 14,600,000 results (in just 0.66 seconds), I suppose it’s just boys being boys in today’s world?
Ask yourself: Who makes this type of content so popular? And who models their behavior on it? Is it your boss, your favorite teacher, your mailman, your son or husband, your president… your mother’s caretaker? When predators like George Kpingbah are treated as aberrations, it’s more challenging to discern who’s really to blame. So, here’s a hint: It ain’t women.
The collective and accepted culture of us males is the problem. And the first giant step to solving this problem is to name it… over and over and over.
Mickey Z. is the founder of Helping Homeless Women - NYC, offering direct relief to women on the streets of New York City. To help him grow this project, CLICK HERE and make a donation right now. And please spread the word!
What if I told you there’s an epidemic of males sexually assaulting female nursing home patients? by Mickey Z. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
Based on a work at https://worldnewstrust.com/what-if-i-told-you-there-s-an-epidemic-of-males-sexually-assaulting-female-nursing-home-patients-mickey-z.
- CreatedSunday, November 05, 2017
- Last modifiedSunday, November 05, 2017
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