What creates the most unity among men? | Mickey Z.

Gang members in Belize City. images.huffingtonpost.com/2015-11-18-1447856895-9700-gang.png

Mickey Z. -- World News Trust

Oct. 13, 2017

Males bond most quickly and easily when exploiting women.

This brotherhood often transcends race, class, age, religion, ethnicity, nationality, and beyond. There is so much that divides us and we have endless wars to illustrate those divisions. But, never forget, us guys can instantly become pals when the common denominator is misogyny. 

Unity among men exists when we are talking over women, interrupting them, mocking and assaulting and abusing them. Robbing them, selling them, buying them, harassing them. Stalking them, raping them, killing them. Wanna see a group of male strangers spontaneously become buddies? Sit them in a room and watch what happens when a woman enters. Smiles, nods, high fives, crude commentary -- for starters. Much worse, if the circumstances are “right.”

In alliance, we exploit women unselfconsciously in front of other men. Call them names. Critique their looks. Share nude photos of them. Broadcast their personal information. We expect praise from our bro’s for these actions. Our status rises. Sexist jokes are universally met with laughter and approval. A trip to the “strip joint” is normal and expected. Hiring a “hooker” for a bachelor party is so widely accepted as to no longer warrant notice. Scroll down the comments section anywhere on the Internet and witness the intersectional harmony.

Again, such male rapport is so ubiquitous that it manifests when females are not present. For example, one man can board a subway train as a woman exits. A random man on the train will gawk at her body and then turn to the new man -- a complete stranger -- and say out loud: “Nice piece of ass, huh?” He does so with no fear that he’ll be deemed inappropriate. In fact, the odds are the new guy will hetero-signal with something like, “Yeah, I’d like to hit that from behind.”

Males with nothing else in common find solidarity in dominating females. Sure, some dudes don’t want other dudes to look at “their” women but in a broader, more-universal sense: all females exist for our collective male entertainment.

Even the “good guys” play an important role.

When I was in my early 20s, myself and three male friends drove to Virginia Beach for a one-week getaway. Time at the beach, pool, maybe a few clubs. Each of us was sorta dating someone at the time. One guy (I’ll call him C) had an official “girlfriend.”

At the motel, we met a few women a couple of years younger than us and we sometimes hung out by the pool during the week. I recall the young women were there with their families from another part of Virginia. Sure, some flirting and playfulness occurred (they loved our NYC accents) but only C took things further. Much further. He ended up alone on the beach with one of the women as the sun went down. They had unprotected public sex. According to C, it went on for a while.

When I look back now, I can more clearly recognize the reality of the dynamics. C was a large and imposing New Yorker. I no longer simply accept that the younger woman was fully receptive to the idea of lengthy, condom-less intercourse in public. At the time, I most certainly didn’t congratulate C but I also didn’t analyze or question his actions.

The day after we got home, C and his girlfriend met up with a group of us. None of us “good guys” recoiled in horror and spilled the beans about C’s despicable deception. None of us urged his girlfriend to get tested for STDs. “Good guys” may not cheat or coerce strangers into unprotected sex in public but we do zip our mouths shut when one of our brothers requires our loyalty.

The cops have their Blue Wall of Silence. The mobsters have omerta. But all males have a much deeper, more widespread bond of tacit consensus. 

As a younger man, I did not challenge this unspoken bond. C was far from the only friend of mine who put me in the position of lying by omission to their girlfriend or wife. I will have to live with that shame for the rest of my life but I would never be party to such behavior now (which partially explains why I have virtually no male friends). But this is not about me. Please allow me to get a point more important than my guilt:

Major, sustainable social change will never arise as a result of protest, social media virtue signaling, giving talks, writing books, sharing memes, or trying to create a more perfect of feminism.

The path is clear:

• Men must want to change.
• Men must change.
• Men must stay changed and be open to even more change.
• Men must change other men.

It’s either that or things will just keep getting worse until there’s noting left to wreck. 

Spread the word, guys…

Mickey Z. is the founder of Helping Homeless Women - NYC, offering direct relief to women on the streets of New York City. To help him grow this project, CLICK HERE and make a donation right now. And please spread the word!

https://creativecommons.org/choose/#metadata